They tell me that gender identity is the new hot topic.  I wondered what exactly that meant. I mean after all hasn’t gender always been an issue, wherever it has been the conflict of being a woman, or a man, and now both. Perhaps in the past, gender issues that affect us today were discussed with far more secrecy and ignorance.  Whereas now with the help of technology and science the gender gaps have become smaller making individuals’ happier in their bodies. Or is it even more confused?

L. Weingarten’s ‘Questions’

I know that the LGBT community especially our transgender family are still met with considerable discrimination and hatred, however we do live in a time unlike any other where freedom to be ourselves is growing and awareness of differences is discussed openly. However, with knowledge and freedom comes also a sense of confusion, even more classification is required, and perhaps even more loneliness, “now I have all this knowledge what do I do with it?”

Which brings me to an email I received, a sincere letter that demonstrated the double edge sword that is todays gender identify issue, “I know I can be who I want to be, but how do I know what I am?” For some, it is as easy as making a cup of tea, they wake up and regardless of the body parts they know from within the person they are. Whole heartily they will claim their gender identity and live fully, and of course with bravery.

For others, well the lines are grey and distinctions are lost with feelings of having to choose. Why? Why choose any one identity in particular. What if for some of us our true identity is male and female, in equal amounts? What if you are truly both?

Many will fight to say that sex organs do not make the gender. I am one of those people, I don’t believe having a vagina or a penis is the only aspect of gender. Yes, they help to make a general distinction but I feel we are a little more interesting and complicated than that. One piece does not make the whole! For example, when women have their breasts removed or uterus due to medical reasons does that make them any less of a women?

The Native American’s have a beautiful expression for people like us, “two spirited” because in essence with hold both identities, and will feel one side more that another or be perfectly evenly distributed. However, for those who have no concerns as to their place on the gender identity continuum, I know their are many who it’s a daily battle filled with insecurity and loneliness. Here is some information to hopefully to ease your journey to self-peace.

We can experience identity confusion at any age and it can be affected by our environment.  If you are feeling disgusted by your genitals, isolate, are depressed, anxious, wish to get rid of your genitals, your confused about your self-concept, and are feeling suicidal you need to seek treatment in the form of individual therapy.  There are options today that will allow you the space to grow in the direction you see for yourself and people who will help you.

Sex reassignment through surgery and hormonal therapy is an option, but identity problems may continue after these treatment if one is not whole within.  The main reason is if we are not content with ourselves/soul, we will never feel complete with our body, our shell.


  • The things that bring you happiness, and that all of us are unique in what brings us happiness and peace. Be at awe with who you are, your individuality and do not compare yourself to others.
  • Surround yourself with people that support you and make you happy.
  • Don’t wallow in the differences but explore the uniqueness, claim it as your own!
  • Take off those lenses that make you see the world in black and white, and become a lover of the color that makes your world.
  • Be kind to yourself and spend time exploring your wants and needs, not what is expected and socially “normal.”
  • Stay healthy. Take care of your body by eating right, seeing your doctor, and getting help for your mind regularly.
  • Most importantly, you deserve to be happy and your body can’t create that nor can anyone else. It is in your mind and the beliefs you have of yourself is which happiness is created.

We are only on earth for a short journey, don’t get stuck in the creases of ignorance. Be the Creator of your own path to who you are.