Category: Relationships

Introducing sex toys to your lesbian lover can be tricky. You might have all day to explain the fundamentals but convincing her to try one could be more challenging than you think. Many people are unaware of the vast improvements made to modern pleasure products. The best you can do is use proven strategies.

Playing with sex toys doesn’t mean you’re no longer attracted to your partner. On the contrary, it demonstrates your desire to spice things up and deliver guaranteed satisfaction. Admit it, your body can’t always do what you want it to, and neither of you is getting any younger. Incorporating lesbian devices could be a turning point in your relationship.

How do you spark up a conversation about dildos and vibrators without sounding like a creep? This article will explain the best approach so you can persuade them with passion.

Communication Tips for Introducing Sex Toys

Bringing up your desire to “spice things up” could be problematic. Some partners might see it as a criticism of your sex life. So, start by reassuring your lover with positive reinforcement and compliments. Then gently introduce the subject when the time feels right.

Personal pleasure devices are still somewhat taboo in certain circles. And many cultures frown upon using toys in the bedroom. Other people could feel awkward or overwhelmed by the thought of sextech or long-distance foreplay. Study the options ahead of time to help your partner get acquainted.

Here are some expert communication tips for lesbian couples:

1. Talk and Listen – Let your partner know about fantasies and boundaries. Then listen to them explain theirs.
2. Offer Suggestions – Give each other ideas on how to best satisfy aching desires. You can be as creative as you want.
3. Discuss Limitations – Candidly discuss your physical restrictions to determine suitable solutions. Recommend ergonomic sex furniture to achieve your favorite positions.

The sex furniture topic can lead to a talk about toys in bed. Listen for hints to determine the perfect time, then approach the conversation from a tailored angle.

What to Say About Lesbian Sex Toys

Your partner will probably have many questions about sex toys for lesbians. What makes them unique, and which one should you choose? Playing with pleasure devices can benefit your relationship in countless ways. So, here is what to say when you get asked hard questions:

1. Pleasure for lesbians requires precision ergonomics because of diverse body types.
2. Sexual satisfaction can sometimes depend on how powerful your device is.
3. Better sex helps improve intimacy for same-sex and lesbian couples.
4. Sex toys promote safe experimentation to fulfill wild fantasies.
5. Adult products can pinpoint hard-to-reach spots for intense bliss.

The best female sex toys also help partners experience deeper orgasms and a more meaningful bond with each other. Play it safe by following the instructions on a beginner-level device to start.

Answer the Fundamental Questions

The conversation about toys could turn into an intense discussion. Your skeptical partner might want more information before saying yes to what you suggest. Be ready to state your position and back it up with evidence and enthusiasm. It’s okay if you don’t have any experience either.

Research the pros and cons of using sex toys in a lesbian relationship. Then pick a few candidates to introduce if your partner says yes. Next, prepare to persuade with answers to these essential questions.

#1. What?

What are sex toys? They’re synthetic pleasure devices designed to stimulate the genitals for sexual pleasure. You can find them in all shapes, sizes, colors, and forms with various features, settings, and amenities. The adult entertainment industry is massive, and so is today’s selection.

DID YOU KNOW: There are dildos, vibrators, clitoral suckers, and pussy pumps to try.

#2. Why?

Why do people play with toys in bed? The reason is that pleasure products are robotic and enduring. They never get tired, and they seldom complain. Many devices also feature specific performance modes for female bodies. Pinpoint the g-spot, massage the p-spot, or tickle the clit with ease.

DID YOU KNOW: Some women can’t have an orgasm from penetrative play.

#3. When?

When is the best time to use a pleasure product as a lesbian? You can enjoy enhanced sensations any time traditional foreplay and sex aren’t cutting it. Go high-tech and play long-distance with Bluetooth, virtual reality, and motion sensors. Or take your toys in public for some spontaneous sex on the low.

DID YOU KNOW: Many compact toys have a travel lock and rechargeable batteries for convenience.

#4. Where?

Where can you use lesbian sex toys? The answer is anywhere. Many couples play with their devices in bed, but others explore different areas of the home or bring theirs on trips. Some playthings are perfect for traveling and compact enough for carry-on. Take advantage of innovative designs if you have plans.

DID YOU KNOW: Devices with or without batteries are welcome through customs in most countries.

#5. Who?

Who uses these devices the most? Couples wanting to express their affection are the most frequent flyers. Second are the folks desiring more from their love lives. Boredom is a passion killer, but many partners refuse to admit they feel stagnant. Sex toys encourage the conversation even if you don’t.

DID YOU KNOW: GoMag celebrated Masturbation Month with lesbian sex toy companies.

Promote safe sex and proper hygiene to avoid mishaps. Do so by discussing expectations and preparing for foreplay together. Buy cleaning supplies, lubricants, and other accessories before playing.

Sex Toy Statistics

Does your partner feel like you’re the only freaks on the block using toys in bed? Bring up these fun facts to change her perspective:

• About 82% of American women own at least one sex toy.
• The most commonly held pleasure product is a vibrator.
• Today’s adult products market is worth more than $60 billion.
• Europeans buy more pleasure devices than anyone in the world.
• Many sex toys were developed to support female empowerment.
• You can shop for the best adult products online and have orders shipped to your door.
• Nearly 70% of shoppers report being in a committed long-term relationship.

You’re not alone in wanting to enhance your love life with advanced technology and skin-safe materials. Going above and beyond the call of duty for your partner is part of being in love. Express yourself in new ways while empowering your relationship with incredible sex.

Conclusion

Sex toys for lesbians are tailored to female pleasure and encourage intimacy between same-sex partners. Unlike traditional devices, these products target specific body contours to deliver custom sensations. Take your relationship to the next level by discussing the possibilities.…

Divorce creates crisis in families with messy painful situations to overcome.  The separation can leave the couple and other family members dealing with grief, guilt, loss, and a sense of failure.  Unfortunately, when children are involved, the pain may be exasperated as they deal with their own loss and need help in coping with all the changes that occur when the family breakup.   In lesbian relationships, this may be even further complicated by social misunderstandings and lack of legal rights in this population.

Divorce changes the pattern of communication, and people who once shared their lives together can soon become enemies.  Researchers have described lesbian divorce with children, as women being torn between letting go of their relationship and holding on at the same time to their children.  They argued that women separating have to stop loving one another but continue to express love towards their children they share.  This is an extremely taxing emotional task for parents during divorce.

In terms of the family and grieving the loss of the relationship, the couple must allow themselves to feel the failure that the collapse has surfaced, such as the sadness, anger, and disappointment.  In addition, the parent must cope with the floods of emotions that occur in divorce without falling apart in ways that are unhealthy and maladaptive (e.g., using substances or alcohol, leaving the family, and fighting in front of the children) (Clunis and Green, 2003).

Lesbian relationships also have unique legal issues they have to come to terms with, unlike a heterosexual couple.  As marriage for homosexual couples is not a legal right in many states, both parents may become victims when it comes to the dissolution of the union.  In addition, lesbian couples who had children in “legitimate” marriage may lose custody or rights to their children if they are not the biological parent.

The divorce crisis goes beyond the children, but also redefining the self without the other; they have to let go of the “we” identity and find out who they are again by rediscovering the self.  This can be difficult considering that certain communities and societies do not even acknowledge the loss and pain involved in the termination of a gay relationship.  In addition, the pain may be reinforced and the person may become isolated by society using the break-up as a justification as to why homosexuality is wrong and dysfunctional.  The children of gay relationship may be affected by this lack of understanding and discrimination and negatively affect the individuals.  The need to make a commitment to the well-being of their children may become increasingly difficult.

Since the 1950s, the families have become increasingly diverse with an increased number of singles, cohabitation, divorce; gay and lesbian unions, living-apart-together, more long-distance relationships; non-marital births, and lone-parent families.  He describes that our understating of divorce needs to change in terms of where we find ourselves today, and ignoring homosexual divorce is a disservice to those families and their children.

The divorce cycle, which is defined as the family structure of origin that influences the effects of marriage formation and stability.  It has been suggested that the children of divorce are much more likely to end their own marriages in divorce.  He suggested that divorce regardless of the structure of the family; the system is transferred from one generation to the next.  This phenomenon is important to research, because the divorce cycle affects a wide spectrum of issues in the family system, such as the role modeling, the lessons’ children learn about relationship skills and marital commitment.

Although couples separating with children encounter extreme pain those children of gay families may face further challenges. Among the issues for which psychological research has been seen as particularly interested with over that last few decades.  It is especially of interests in the issue surrounding child custody after divorce, same-sex marriage, adoption, and foster care. The argument provided an impression of the current legal concerns for homosexual parents and their children in the United States.  Research findings on lesbian and gay parents and their children suggested that they did not deserve the discrimination they experience in the legal system, which exasperated the emotional crisis of divorce.

Divorce in lesbian couples may involve child custody cases when previously married heterosexual parents are divorcing after their wife has come out as a lesbian and the parents cannot agree on custody and visitation arrangements.  In some cases, the crisis in the individual arose when their sexual orientation is taken into question regarding custody and visitation decisions for their minor children.  Furthermore, when lesbian couples have adopted a child and subsequently separates, custody and visitation may become a legal issue.  Lastly, homosexual parented families may evoke a variety of legal and policy issues, including those involving issues concerning the use of reproductive technology, surrogacy, adoption, and foster care .

Understanding the complexity of lesbian and gay relationships and their children can give insight to those working with these families during the crisis of divorce- but it is also our duty as members of our community to fight for our rights.  It can be easy to miss the difficulties a person is facing when their legal rights are not supported or ignored. The crisis can move from family issues to an internal problem with the self and their world.

Lesbian step families can consist of children from an earlier relationship; her children; and partner, who may or may not have children from a prior union.  Most children are conceived from previous straight relationships.  In addition, lesbian families experience similar difficulties with any other heterosexual blended families, such as rejection, jealousy, and problems between children and step-parents.  However, there are unique problems in lesbian families; such as fears about losing custody, having their sexual orientation exposed to other families perhaps even their own children.   This type of exposure creates a crisis and a sense of isolation that is notwithstanding greater for their children than themselves, because their children as they do not have peer support.  Children of gay parents may have to keep their parents’ sexual orientation a secret, which can be isolating from peers and their community.

Lesbian couples enter therapy because of a crisis with boundaries, sexuality, balancing power, stage differences in coming out process, children and co-parenting, difficulty with family, and the dissolution of the relationship. However, because of the lack of legal and social support this can create numerous problems when those families separate. Because there is no judicial structure of the division of property or determination of custody and financial support of the children, problems could arise.  Unfortunately, there is often a parent with no legal relationship with her children who when a break-up occurs, she may lose all contact with her children.

Educate yourself about the matters and the consequences that could arise when lesbians’ relationship fall apart, and children are involved.

Also:

• Find a clinician or therapist that is able to mediate with you and your partner before proceeding with custody suits.
•  I  recommend my lesbian clients to draw up a relationship and parenting contracts that can be used in the event of a separation.
• Recognize that your family will encounter stigma, and not ignore that both parents share parenting  roles.
• The problems you may encounter during their separation may be worsened by social stigma and homophobic attitudes, be aware and build a social support system and get help from people and places, such as family, friends, and therapist, LGBT centers, support groups.

Don’t act in fear or hide in shame. Unfortunately, everything in life comes to some type of end.  The most important thing to remember is that as the seasons change in your relationship you have to continue to take care of yourself.  If mama is happy- babies are happy too.…

On Apr 13^th 2022, when I woke up that morning no one could have convinced me of where I would be almost a year later. I woke up distresses, anxious, and at an utter loss.

The day before my car broke down beyond repair, my boss warned me that if I did not have a car, I would not have a job; money was a problem, found out I had a stomach hernia, and the worst part of it all my girlfriend had run away with her ex all within 24hrs.

The hurt was so unexpected and out of my control, that it spun me into a dark place, which took me months to get over.

It was that week that The Intersex Recognition was created, I felt so lonely in my community and dumbfounded by the intricacies of being with a woman, I needed to learn more.

Even after I got a bran new car, got promote into a new job, money issues were settling, got accepted into a PhD program, and had a sweet new girlfriend; I realized I was still hurting and lost.

Seven months would go by; women would come in and out of my life, with the bitter taste of her ghost staining my memory.

Seven months of crying late at night when no one was around. Seven months of cursing the day she was born, and was given the opportunity to leave her imprint on my skin.

Seven months of wishing I could erase my memory and say “yes” to those who waited in the dark for me to acknowledge their love. Seven months of pain.

By late autumn, I decided after much self-exploration and questioning that maybe there was such a thing as “never truly getting over a person.” I was finally accepting that pieces would remain missing within me and that life needed to keep moving.

It was at this time one Sunday afternoon that I was sitting with my best friend Ellen in her car, crying for the last time in each others arms of our past loves and hurt that my phone light up with an incoming message. I thought at first I had read the name wrong, but as soon as I took a better look I threw up.

Ellen in shock read the name and proceeded to try and find me (As I got out of the car and started walking). She read the message out-loud, and then stared at me with that WTF just happened look. It was simple and straight to the point.

It was an “I am sorry” note, and it left me numb and emotionless. I would be a liar if I said it wasn’t something I prayed for or that I did not care. I cared. I cared more then I was willing to admit or even wanted to feel.

Part of me hated her for all the pain she had caused me and the other just wanted to feel her skin under my hand, and more than anything I just wanted to know Why.

I think that is when reconciliation begun for me. When a door is open into a relationship we have many chooses.

The better part of me wanted to enter, leaving the door wide open so that I could leave at anytime. I took a step in her direction; remembering that my intentions are to always be true, to keep an open mind, and have boundaries not wall, and to never punish her for abandoning me.

Individuals are never broken and the human heart is never beyond repair, but when reconciling with anyone it takes all individuals in the relationship to want to do it.

Reconciliation is a goal and it requires a team to attain it; one person alone cannot do all the work nor is it fair.

Here are ten tips to help when starting the process of reconciliation:

1. Start with friendship. When my ex came back into my life we made it clear that we would be friends.  We were so determined to regain trust for one another at that level that we waited over a month to physically see each other again. It was worth the wait!
2. We gave each other permission to “ask anything and keep no secrets.” This came with an additional side note “please no details.” We also gave each other room to feel the anger and pain but express it appropriately when we were both calm and ready to listen.
3. This is an absolute “no-no,” no yelling, screaming, name-calling, or threatening.  No harassing them by texting or calling multiple times! What is done is done, and if you are not willing to leave it in the past than you can forget about it ever working out in the future. Also, don’t play victim and use the past as a weapon, for example “you used to do this, you used to do that.”
4. Set some rules and boundaries. Every once in awhile you have to set your limits. “There are certain things I cannot and will not be okay with, it’s not a secret and I don’t expect you to read my mind, so I will share them with you.”
5. More boundaries. Everyone I have allowed in knows this well about me. I am open to everyone and anyone, but if you hurt me and I give you a chance and you waste it there is no more chances after that. I have learnt that people will not change if they don’t have too, so if you keep giving them chance after chance there really is no point in the person listening to you because they already know they will get away with it. I always forgive those who have hurt me and then I let them go with an open heart, e.g. “I wish all the love and happiness in the world, thank you for the time you shared with me.”
6. Once you say you are ready to forgive, the work is on you in achieving it. Forgiveness comes from within so only you can make it happen.
7. It takes two to make the wheels of a relationship move, therefore we all need to accept responsibility and fix the problem. Sometimes it’s not just about the other person that hurt us changing, but you included.  It can be hard work, as we may have to change are attitudes and actions. Think about counseling and therapy if there are too many bumps in the way.
8. Don’t beg, that changes the power situation in a relationship and it make you feel like shit. You will not need to beg if you actions and intentions are true, she will be able to see them.
9. Keep family and friends out of it. If you need to talk about it that is what we have the mental health profession for “unbiased trained individual to listen.” You don’t need anyone’s approval because if they say that they love you, than they should always be there to understand and support you. There are some who did not want my ex back in my life, but they were supportive enough to know to keep their mouths shut with their opinions and just spread the love (thank you, you are a true friend!).
10. Always communicate calmly and rationally or you will only scare them and drive them away. Remember what brought you two together and why it’s worth fighting for, but do it the mature way!

Nothing is guaranteed in life we can only do as good as with what we have been given and understand.

I don’t know if this relationship will work out and I don’t care.

I only care that some things are too great to let go off and that a chance for a life of true happiness can be found when anger, jealousy, and distrust are left behind; and compassion and love have taken their place.…